Tag Archives: rituals

A Bad Marriage, Gone Good

Relationship building rituals (dates) don’t need to cost money, but they do demand time!

Bonding Rituals
Leaving and Cleaving

Scripture Reading: Ephesians 5:31

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

The concept is not new but still needs attention – leaving and cleaving! Marriage means “leaving.” A person leaves his parents as well as the aspects of single life. Being “single” has some benefits that some people struggle to give up! The focus on self can get deeply ingrained in a person’s life. The longer a person stays single, the deeper this focus can go! It’s not an intentional selfishness… it’s simply the result of having no one else around to think about!

Bonding rituals help couples break free of those negative aspects of “single” living. Unfortunately, after the honeymoon, too many couples allow their lifestyles to slip back into the habits formed while they were single! Of course it is not wrong to want and enjoy some apart time…time alone with ourselves. (Later this month, I’ll be talking more about creating a good balance of together time and alone time.)

“Cleaving” to each other is the bonding part of the relationship. Good marriages take time, on a weekly basis, to enjoy an activity with each other – away from bills, kids and other responsibilities. I strongly recommend to couples that they get out of the house. It normally represents these responsibilities. Go somewhere outside of the home to spend your time together. These “dates” don’t need to cost money, but they do demand time! Most were creative during the dating years – let’s get back to some of those “creative juices” as we plan our “mate dates!”

Father, help me to become ‘one’ with my spouse in all areas of our lives! In Jesus’ Name I ask, amen.