Sermon Notes from Morning Worship
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Series: “Relating to Our Relatives”
Today: “The Dark Side of Relating”
Matthew 5:37 Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
Matthew 18:15 (Amplified Bible) If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately…
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Intro: The dark side of relating to our relatives is when they cross the boundary lines of your life.
* There are three reasons why a relation of yours may be invading your space:
1. They may not know where your boundary lines are; you have not communicated them.
2. They may have experienced, in the past, that your boundary lines keep moving —no consistency.
3. They may have pushed on your boundaries and they fell down —no enforcement of boundaries.
I. THE MOST EFFECTIVE WORD FOR CLEAR BOUNDARIES: NO .
A. Jesus told us to let our yes be yes, and our no be no.
B. Why the word no is an important word.
1. It sets limits on sinful and abusive treatment.
2. It avoids passive-aggressive behavior.
* People see us comply, but God sees our resentment.
II. HOW TO ENFORCE OUR BOUNDARIES.
A. Develop confidence in them.
B. Expect adult behavior from adults .
* Every mature adult deals with disappointment and gets over it.
C. Be firm and consistent with your boundaries.
III. HOW TO COMMUNICATE OUR BOUNDARIES.
A. The Bible is clear: speak the truth __in love_ (Ephesians 4:15).
* Tolerating bad behavior only sets us up to live with bad behavior for years to come.
B. Gentleness is a key word in Christ like communications.
Philippians 4:4-5 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 
Conclusion: Clear, consistent boundaries in our personal relationships keep us from fighting .