Tag Archives: adult relatives

Boundaries do cause disappointments but mature adults must deal with them.

The Dark Side of Relating
Saying No – Part 3

Scripture Reading:  Matthew 18:15-17

Key Verse: Matthew 5:37

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

All of us want boundaries.  Like the physical boundaries of your home and property, it never feels good to have someone come on to your property uninvited.  We all need our space; our personal independence to be who God made us to be.  When anyone crosses over into our space, they are trying to make us act, think or feel like they do.  They can make us feel guilty if we don’t comply with their way of seeing things or doing life.

            As adults, everyone needs to learn how to handle disappointments.  A person who can’t say no is basically saying, “I am the only one who should live with disappointment.”  That is a lie that will bring deep resentment in any relationship.  Your adult relatives can handle disappointment.  Of course, they won’t enjoy it, none of us do.  But adults get over it and learn to interact with people who live life differently than they do.

            If you are trying to relate to a relative that won’t get over it, they are the problem and you must recognize that if you are going to live life in a healthy way.  Everybody has the right and need to set up boundaries that say, “This is me, please respect me even if you don’t agree or understand me.”  Boundaries for God’s children do not call for sinful self focus, but rather healthy and holy personal standards for life.

Father, I need your courage to verbalize my own convictions that you have put in me.  I want to reflect your love and holiness.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.