Let Love Lead
… In Our Relationships – Part IV
Scripture Reading: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Key Verse: Psalms 37:8
Let go of anger and leave rage behind! Don’t get upset – it will only lead to evil.
Another translation of our Key Verse for today is: “Don’t give in to worry or anger; it only leads to trouble.”
For many of us, giving in to our anger causes 90% or more of our marital problems. That is, if we prevent our anger from influencing what we say and how we say it, that solves a majority of our problems.
Anger is not wrong; it is just an emotion. God gives us all our emotions as part of who we are. Problems come when we convince ourselves that we cannot control our anger; this is a lie that too many of us buy into.
If you are a believer and are walking with Christ, then you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13). If you have let anger wreak havoc in your marriage, or in your other relationships, begin praying every morning by surrendering to God and asking for His strength to “let go of anger”.
A practical step in letting go of your anger is to stop your anger emotions before they have a chance to get out. In other words, as soon as you sense your anger boiling up, tell your spouse that you need to take a break from the conversation. For this to be effective, you want to set up this strategy with your spouse ahead of time. This shows your spouse how important it is to you to work on this problem.
In a marriage, sometimes one spouse allows their anger emotions to take over, but they do not see the problem or simply refuse to work on it. When that is the case, the other spouse may want to try postponing the conversation when they sense anger getting out of control.
The danger of this postponement strategy is that the couple never gets back to the conversation. Then this approach may turn into a way to simply avoid the subject. When this occurs, the couple does not resolve the problem and it will pop up its ugly head again.
Ask yourself if you and your spouse have been arguing over the same issues for a long time. If this is the case, ask the Holy Spirit to help you bring up the topic again, to help you resolve it, and to let love lead in all that is said. It is critical that you keep at it until you come to a solution. You may want to find a Christian counselor to help you resolve recurring issues.
The good news for couples who are both Christ-followers is that God wants you to live in peace and enjoy the abundant life that Jesus died to give you. Keep surrendering to Him and keep seeking His wisdom for your marriage.
Father, help me to control my anger so my anger does not control me. Please remind me often to let love lead in all my conversations with my spouse and others in my life. In Jesus’s Name I pray, amen.