Interpersonal Relationships

By and large, men are not natural nurturers; be open to help from God and our wives!

Men’s Relationships 103

Scripture Reading: Ephesians 5:25-33

Key Verse: Titus 2:1-2

You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

In several different passages of the Bible, the Apostle Paul commands men to love their wives. It seems like a no-brainer at first. Why wouldn’t this be automatic? Yet, at a closer look, with an honest evaluation of a man’s makeup, we can understand Paul’s concern.

Men are not natural nurturers, by and large. We tend to be very “task oriented,” not “feelings oriented.” I believe some of this is culture driven. Most men remember well, the many times people told us as young boys to “grow up and be a man.” As toddlers we were often told, after falling, not to cry but to be a “big boy.” These well-intentioned admonishments formed a hardening of our hearts. We were being told, in so many words, crying is inappropriate; feelings are for girls, so most of us men worked very hard not to be “sissies.”

After we got married, which for too many men is the ceremony that celebrates the task completion of finding and winning a mate, we turn toward other tasks at hand, such as building a career, etc. And, as odd as it sounds to our ladies, we really do need to hear the apostle’s instruction to continue to “love our wives.”

Ladies don’t condemn us for our orientations but do gently lead us into your world of nurturing love for one another. Most men will willingly follow if led in a non-judgmental way!

Father, your love is perfect, and I want to model it in all my relationships. Grant me wisdom and courage to live it. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

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